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Dealing with a difficult boss or supervisor

The relationship with your boss or supervisor is the most important relationship in your workplace. Bosses and supervisors have been given the power to direct your work activities, evaluate your work, and provide feedback to you and the company, which may affect your chances for salary increment or promotion etc. It is not uncommon to see people struggling with their relationships with their bosses/supervisors.


If you think you are having a difficult boss, you may want to ask yourself the following:

  1. Is your boss constantly being difficult with everyone at any time, or only to certain staff, certain job behaviour or certain workplace situations?

  2. Is there anything you have done or not done that has contributed to your boss behaving to you in a difficult manner?

  3. Is your expectation of how your boss treats you realistic?

  4. Is there any reason why you need to stay in the job and work on your relationship with your boss or supervisor?


If your boss is constantly being ‘difficult’ to anyone at any time, chances are it is an ingrained personality style. And it is unlikely that you can do anything to change it. And if you do not have any reasons to continue working under this boss, you may want to look for other options.


If you decide to continue working with your boss, you may want to understand what are his/her buttons, work and communication styles that he or she prefers and work around the hotspots accordingly.


Next time when you find your boss being difficult, you may want to:

  1. Breathe and remain calm

  2. Remind yourself how you may benefit from a better relationship with your boss

  3. If you have been criticized by your boss, find an appropriate time and place to discuss with your boss to find ways to improve your work or communication if necessary.

  4. Remember that your boss is a human being too. They may be having a hard time at work. And people can have different personality

  5. Think of the good attributes of your boss which you like

  6. Fully enjoy life outside work. Plan healthy self-care and relaxation activities after a stressful experience at work, e.g. Massage, exercise or other hobbies. Stay connected with your family and friends.

  7. It is reasonable to seek support from a trustworthy colleague after a stressful work experience. However, stay with the facts, such as what you have objectively observed or heard, and focus on constructive problem-solving. Avoid gossiping, i.e. badmouthing your boss, as it may affect your professional reputation and spread negativity in the workplace.



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